The Shaman’s Mushroom: my story of initiation with Amanita’s presence

On my very first trip to Scotland in October 2022 that would kick off my Shamanic Practitioner Training, I left with a heightened sense of anticipation in my heart. First time on ancestral lands, first steps into the shamanic way of living and healing, first time travelling alone since the world closed its doors in 2020. I felt elated yet very cautious for various reasons.

After two years of major upheaval in my family life, I desperately wanted to have some relief in my heart from the bitter sting of betrayal I was carrying around. I held the deepest intention for that first trip to heal my severely broken family dynamics and start to finally progress off out the negative cycle I felt stuck in that seemed to be playing on repeat. I remember feeling so bitter that a continuous thought in my mind at that point was “I’m never bringing a child into this world if this family energy is what awaits them”.

I arrived and felt at home. More home than I’ve ever felt before. Just the tarmac of the Inverness airport brought a sense of peace to my bones and I felt for the first time in a long time that everything was going to be ok.

I had a few days of fun and relaxation planned in Inverness before the course was set to begin. I thoroughly enjoyed the time zone change and ended up spending most of that time outside in the rain—my favourite weather by far. I walked by River Ness every day, went into wool shops and tartan shops, marvelled at the cute cafes and pubs. I felt alive for the first time in years.

I ended up going to Culloden Battlefield where I cried so much, there was some kind of visceral memory being activated there for me. Then right after I decided to hit up Clava Cairns; The ancient Bronze Age sacred site that was the inspiration for Outlander’s standing stones at Craigh Na Dun (sorry for everyone who isn’t aware that the stones are fake!). There are many standing stones in Scotland but this site is the one they say was the inspiration for Diana Gabaldon’s book series.

I took a taxi there and when I asked the driver if he would come back in an hour to get me, as there was very poor cell service there, he said he’d prefer to wait for me there. I said I would be an hour and he said “not to worry, I will sleep”.

I walked that site as visions of times past danced before my mind. I held the stones and closed my eyes. I saw all kinds of memories throughout the years and I cried again. Some ceremonies that took place there for birth, death, marriage, rites of passage for the people of this place. It shook me in the best way. I felt honoured to be witness to this energy.

There was another family there with kids who were jumping all over the rocks. I didn’t love that this was happening but I stayed silent and recluse in my own, choosing to honour the stones in my own way.

The most rambunctious of the bunch fell and twisted his ankle between two rocks, sending the entire family into their car and onwards. I was alone in this sacred site, taxi driver sleeping at the ready, not a sound to be heard or a human soul in sight.

I went to the rocks where the kids were and felt a very strong grounding force in me, then the air thinned out around me. I felt like I could see through dimensions. Then almost as if by magic, a red glow caught my eye. Nestled between two rocks, somehow unnoticed and unscathed by the children running and playing all over the place… a big fly agaric mushroom.

I had seen these on Instagram before, and marvelled at the photos people posted of them, but seeing it in person now felt like I was in the presence of royalty. It felt so important for me to be in the presence of Amanita muscaria. I got real close, snapped some photos and just marvelled!

I touched her very gently and asked if she had any messages for me. She responded in kind with “I am here for you”.

This felt big.

I listened carefully and asked for more detail, she responded with “everything is about to change”.

I felt the message was complete. I said thank you and goodbye. Went over and woke my taxi driver up who thanked me for letting him sleep so long (lol) and then he took me to see the “Harry Potter train” (his words) which was the viaduct, which I loved, and then brought me back to the hotel.

Upon return, I shared online in my stories that I had encountered Amanita and my DMs blew up.

Stories about Santa Claus, the shaman’s mushroom, fairies and more folklore. I even got posts sent to me with the most beautiful poems written beneath them. This mushroom had a lot to share with the world!

Naturally the one that caught my attention most of the stories sent to me was that of it being known as the Shaman’s mushroom, considering I was in Scotland to begin my Shamanic Practitioner Training.

*It is so important to note that the fly agaric / Amanita muscaria mushroom has so much negativity and false information shared around it. For one, it is not toxic, as in—you can touch it and consume it. Though I wouldn’t go eating a ton of it in raw form but you’ll likely just get sick if you ingested too much of it, specifically experiencing GI distress. It is a psychoactive mushroom but not in the same respect as psilocybin. To learn more about Amanita muscaria click here.

It is also vital to note than Shamans are not only shamans because of their use of mushrooms or mind altering substances. You can certainly see specific types of shamans for this purpose but the large majority of shamans I know do not engage with psychedelics. I wrote more about shamanism here.

Back to my story…

With my mind intrigued, I set out to explore how this gorgeous mushroom that enchanted me so much had earned the title of “Shaman’s mushroom.” It turn out that there are many stories surrounding this. For one, there were many shamans from Siberia who did ingest this mushroom to have trance experiences to deepen their journeys for themselves and the communities they served.

I really resonated with this story though:

“The Koryak still reside in Eastern Siberia’s Kamchatka Peninsula today. According to their folklore, Amanita muscaria was a “sacred gift” from someone called Big Raven, believed to be the first ever shaman and the beginning of the human race.

According to this legend, Big Raven discovered amanita’s power after catching a whale. He wanted to return the gigantic catch to the sea, but it was too heavy even for him. Thus, he requested help from Vahiyinin (Existence), who created the mushroom known as wapaq by spitting on the land. Amanita muscaria’s white spots are a representation of the spit.

Once Big Raven ate this mushroom, he developed the power to toss the whale into the sea. Then he told his people that the fly agaric could help and educate them. Thus, the mushroom remained a significant part of the Koryaks’ folklore for hundreds of years.” (Source)

I truly felt that Amanita made her presence known to me as a sacred gift on my path. I felt that she was there for me to see so that I may be initiated into the shamanic path as well as into this sacred time of my life.

I started my Shamanic course with a bitter heart, angry at myself, my family and the world, never wanting to bring children into what I felt was a very dark existence and looking for some peace on my path.

I went through a massive transformation. Found my business essence, moved out of our family home, lost friends, gained new ones, my family moved 6 hours away, we got a home just for us, I got pregnant and we essentially started a whole new life together.

I finished the course with so much love flowing through me, through my life and giving birth to my son in the greatest frequency of joy ever just 4 days after my training was complete.

Everything was about to change. She showed up for me because I needed her to guide me in that moment. And guide me she did.

The Shamans mushroom was a sacred gift in the shadow landscape of my life and I could write a whole lot more about all the magical and miraculous happenings since I encountered her on that perfect day in October 2022.

But for now I’ll allow her medicine to continue being a catalyst for me, my work and what I have to share with you.

I placed the shamans mushroom in my branding because I hope with all my heart to be a similar catalyst on your journey to finding healing, transformation, joy and peace on your path.

I’m so grateful for that mushroom and I can’t wait to see what else she has in store for me and my journey—as a teacher, a shaman, a healer and a mother.