The earth's love

In the last few years, like so many others around me in my community, I have felt stretched and tested in more ways that I can understand or know. At times I felt like I was overflowing with information and emotion and didn't know how to hold it all inside... and then at other times I felt like butter scraped over too much bread (LOTR Bilbo quote). 

This was the second spiritual awakening that I've had in my lifetime and it was the most intense of the two for sure. I had many years of stress and difficulty, initiated by myself shortly after I went on a solo indigenous retreat in 2013 that led me to these highs and lows, but everything hit a huge peak in November 2019 when I left my thriving massage career and began the journey inwards of discovering what I truly wanted to do with my life and offer to the world. My Saturn return just happened to start the exact same day I left the country to go and study yoga in India. 

In this three year span, I experienced the biggest loss of myself and everything I knew to be true in my life. My family dynamic crumbled before my eyes and left me feeling betrayed and heartbroken. What I thought would always be a safe haven for me became my worst nightmare, and everything in my heart and soul me told me to stick with it and work through it even though that felt like the most impossible thing to do.

One day I found myself terribly upset, shaking with frustration and anger and all kinds of bitterness that anyone in my life would choose to treat me with such disrespect. I went into the woods... or I should say I stomped into the woods... and I got to a clearing and fell to my knees screaming and crying all at once. I placed my forehead to the cool October earth, and just took a moment to breathe and cry and feel it all. As I did this and surrendered to what I was feeling, I felt the loving embrace of the earth reach up to hold me. I heard her heartbeat surround me and pierce through me, it regulated my nervous system - and then I stayed there listening. Just waiting... until I came back to neutral. When I did, I heard the sounds of wild rose in my heart - "you may bend and feel like you might snap, but your spirit never truly breaks." I knew this, but needed to hear it, because sometimes I wondered what would happen if I did break? It was a place I was not willing to venture into.

Rose is a very strong ally for this period of time on earth and I feel we are only just beginning to understand how much we need her wisdom. Crack open your heart, but have boundaries. Love fiercely, with deep compassion, but protect yourself. Be a powerful nurturer for all, but don't let anyone take advantage of you. These are some of her most famous statements.

Once I got that message, I was able to slowly rise up from the earth and take a seat on a log nearby. Once I was settled, I turned to the right to find the remnants of a wild rose bush and rosehips on her branches, some leaves still intact and even a wilted petal or two still holding on. I felt how much the earth loved me and how much rose just wanted me to remember that I am not only loved, but I am the living and breathing frequency of love. We can only receive that which we already hold within - I received love from wild rose because I was already an embodied love... even in those times when I feel anything but love - this connection is still possible. I felt the warm tears of this feeling roll down my cheeks and closed my eyes in gratitude.

This experience is just one of many that I can recall from the last three years where the earth and her beings held me close in times of desperate need. We tend to think that the earth is hurting, dying, ill and full of toxins (from us); but what we often forget is that she is the original teacher of cycles and just as we move through difficult times of darkness and dying, so too does she.

The earth is evolving and changing every day and from my perspective, the best way to support the earth is to recognize her inner radiance and connect with her spirit. I am trying to do my part here to bridge this relationship for as many people as I can... So, I have a small offering I'm launching on Imbolc (Feb 1st) about this, sign up for my newsletter below to be the first to know!

Listening to the magic of the earth, and especially of the plants, has completely transformed my life and this offering is going to teach you how to connect with the soul of some of the oldest beings of the earth.

How does the earth speak to you or through you?
How are you connecting with her?

I would love to know! Message me and share if you feel guided to.

Bountiful blessings and Calendula kisses,
Emily