How shamanism is changing me

When I enrolled in the Shamanic Practitioner training in Scotland, it was really just a feeling that flowed through me that I knew instantly I had to honour.

I landed on the website and without reading more than "Embracing Shamanism", I just knew I had to sign up.

Naturally, being someone who acts very strongly on instant intuition, I did.

I inquired about dates and had to wait a while before I could confirm it was going to align with my schedule for that fall.

The first round happened in October 2022, and I was a total mess to say the least.

I was living (read, escaping) in North Carolina as my family life was completely upside down and I was feeling like a total emotional wreck inside and out. I went there with zero intentions to make friends or get too deep with anyone or anything but the practice. I was ready to transform and heal, and I didn't want any distractions from that intention.

I got exactly what I wanted and returned completely reborn and re-aligned with my heart. Had one of the best months ever in my business (in every way) and even went back home to some harmony with my family. The integration was palpable and beautiful.

Between the first and second gathering of the training I had my pilgrimage, which was deeply affirming of all the healing I had done and integrated from the first round. A story of my heart flowed out of me and still brings me to tears when I read it to myself.

Going into the second gathering though, as I was setting my intentions, I found myself wondering... what now? So much of what I wanted in the autumn had repaired and healed itself at this point that I was having a hard time truly discovering what it was I wanted out of this round of training, other than the obvious of learning and enjoying my time of course.

The training is designed to help you transform and evolve as you learn it, so I wanted an intention that made sense to me with this in mind.

In February, I started thinking about how much I wanted to really grow my impact in my business. Though I had been doing this work for three years, I greatly operated out of fight or flight for the bulk of that time because of my living/family issues, and it was not fully embodied work... it was more like fragmented and in full honesty, didn't always make sense for me. I had done a lot of out fear and old programming. Though it was always great work that helped people, I knew it wasn't my best.

With this reflection, I started intentionally channeling the energy of being at my best, living a more impactful life with my business and truly understanding what that would look and feel like for me.

In that contemplation, I was guided to close my monthly membership. That was hard but also very easy. It was just time. The last full month of that was February and after that I had absolutely nothing going on "live" in my business. This brought up all kinds of feelings for me and I quickly realized how much I love working!

Then I received several small windfalls of money that allowed me to pay of the last of my school debt. This was huge. This was a wish and prayer on my heart that I've made daily for the last 10 years. Freedom from debt! Just WOW.

Then a few days before I left for Scotland I had this huge anxiety come over me about never leaving the house I live in, which is my parents home, or the area they live in, where I grew up in Niagara Falls.

I realized that I had continued to come back here because I had this unconscious fear of making the wrong choice with my living situation, and this very much was a consistent and comfortable backup plan for us. Over the last 10 years my husband and I have moved over 16 times and it took a toll on us emotionally. We both had the fear of choosing wrong and as a result we kept returning to this house in this city that we don't enjoy living in.

So, somewhere on March 8th or 9th I said to him with tears in my eyes "I just wish this wasn't even an option and that this house wasn't even here or available to us! I'm so scared I'll never be able to leave this house!!"

On Monday, March 13th, the day I left for Scotland, my parents told me that they were moving to Ottawa to live with my brother, his wife and their new bairn. The house is going up for sale, and as such our last tie to this area will be gone.

*Cue the joy and shock of wishes almost instantly fulfilled*

I started to really see how much the work I was doing with spirit was magically guiding my path. I went into this second round of training just wanting clarity of how to proceed from here. While there, more and more things just kept showing up in my presence and back home. Since I returned we've also received more random money, guidance on our next steps and for the first time in years, crystal clear clarity on what we want.

Now, I return to the intention of this blog: How shamanism is changing me.

I can tell you without a doubt that it is the main thing responsible for my rebirth back in November. It is also taking me deeper into my intuition and trust with the creator unlike ever before. I thought I was already doing amazingly in this area and now it has reached new heights. I'm finding as well that I'm facing my challenges with more grace than ever before and I'm extremely grateful for this.

If a friend were to ask me how it's changing me, I would respond with - It's aligning me. Not in a manifestation kind of way, but in a alignment-with-all-life kind of way. You can't really venture deeper into connection with the spirit of all that is without somehow becoming more aligned with nature.

It has also cracked me open in surprising ways... it opened up the space in my heart that was locked shut to work with people 1-1. This is however unlike any other one-on-one work I've ever done. It is deeply empowering and self-affirming. If you know me and my approach, then you'll know that this is one of my deepest values in my work. I don't give you the answers, I guide you to discovering them yourself with your own medicine and magic. This is also the foundation of Shamanic practices.

I've now opened up my life and books for Shamanic Healing session and a new signature one-on-one mentorship called Sanctuary of Soul.

All shamanic work has deeply affirmed everything I was already feeling about my work and It is giving me epic boundaries, creative energies, non-attachment, deep acceptance and opening my heart in expansive ways. I'm so deeply grateful for all of it!

I'm excited to share this world with you in these new offerings.